The Swimming Pool Q's - Jeff Calder's 50th Birthday Memoirs

Royal Academy of Reality

Royal Academy of Reality is an ambitious and successful summer blockbuster of a release...a sexy tour de force...glorious odes to the solar system. It's an anthem of the sun that would bust out in blows against the empire if anyone had the energy to launch a wooden ship, much less a rocket.

--VILLAGE VOICE

Possibly the most progressive American rock record of the new century. It sets an artistic standard few bands will be able to match.

--THE STATE

Overflowing with musical and intellectual ideas...flat-out astonishing.

--WIRE U.K.

Pocket symphonies of silvery guitar and warm-water singing: Abbey Road wrapped in kudzu.
--ROLLING STONE

A lavish record that's as cryptic as R.E.M. and as expansive as The Flaming Lips...warm and humane rather than aridly cerebral...their time may have come. 4 STARS.
--Q MAGAZINE U.K.

A gorgeous disc from a unique band that has been out of action too long.
--WASHINGTON POST

GRADE: A: Repeat listenings of Reality yield countless new pleasures.
--ATLANTA JOURNAL

A sprawling 70-minute voyage into deep space.
--CREATIVE LOAFING

The striking scale and superb craft of this album are impressive by any standard.

--ALL MUSIC GUIDE

This is one terrific album...a spectacular sound, one that overflows with sheer exuberance and invention...a strikingly original piece of work, and proof positive that in the grand tradition of Sgt. Pepper and Dark Side of the Moon, imagination and ambition are still vital ingredients when it comes to making music that really matters.
--SOUTH FLORIDA'S ENTERTAINMENT

NEWS & VIEWS

A rock and roll Gravity's Rainbow.
--AMPLIFIER

Exquisitely crafted songs [that] burst on the ear with the sudden force and electric sizzle of an August thunderstorm. Others open like furled flower buds, petal by petal, with imagery that's both winsome and passionate.
--TALLAHASSEE DEMOCRAT

Administration

Jeff Calder's 50th Birthday Memoirs > Bill Burton (1) > Beetlejuice

Back when we first released our album, World War Two Point Five (Capitol, 1989)Jeff was proudly performing in a series of grandiloquent custom made suits which he had commissioned from the infamous Atlanta tailor, "Gentleman Jim."

These suits were made from bolts of satin-like materials that Jeff would find on endless excursions to local fabric stores, and, when completed, featured both bold stripes, rich colors and odd Mandarin collars. One thing they did not have were pockets, as Jeff would explain, "Pockets are really expensive, man.. So is a zippered fly..." (his were the more economical Velcro).

At any rate, upon the release of WW 2.5, we headed down to Orlando for a big "record release" gig -- at which employees of the local Capitol Records office showed up with a retinue of our "target demographic": local college kids who were enticed into attending our show with promises of both "cutting edge new music and limitless free beer." Somehow a few of these coed Dolts made it back to the dressing room for the pre-show party, and one of them started talking to Jeff -- who was happily "holding court" with the label reps in his latest silken-striped-suit.

What follows is a rough recreation of the conversation which ensued:
Rube: (eyeing Jeff's suit) "You know man, you look just like that guy in the film..."
Jeff: "Really? Which guy is that?"

Now, it was clear from Jeff's bemused reaction (and indefatigable optimism concerning his countenance) that he assumed The Hick was inferring a resemblance to such Hollywood icons as Robert Redford, Mel Gibson or Harrison Ford...
Rube: (continuing) "C'mon dude, you know... that GUY in the movie... You look just like him!"
Jeff: (flattered) "Who do you mean... a Movie Star? A leading man?? Which one?"
Rube: (excited) "Yeah, yeah, you know, him, him... uh, uh,... BEETLEJUICE!"

(Ouch.)

Anyway, twenty minutes later -- we recover our composure and go out to begin our big new-record-release-the-label-guys-are-here-pretty-good-crowd-its-Orlando-performance.

The lights dim, the crowd cheers, and we take the stage.

Jeff slings his guitar on, flips his amp on and strides confidently to microphone. The lights come up and Jeff prepares to address the crowd with the big, "Hello, Cleveland" style Rock greeting...

As he opens his mouth to begin, he's interrupted by a chorus of Fraternity boys who yell out from the back of the club...

"...BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE!"

We all collapsed laughing on stage -- Jeff included.

It is a sign of great humor and spirit that Jeff took the events of that evening so well. Although in truth, he never wore a matching striped coat and pants in combination again....

Bill Burton / Swimming Pool Q