The Swimming Pool Q's - Jeff Calder's 50th Birthday Memoirs

Royal Academy of Reality

Royal Academy of Reality is an ambitious and successful summer blockbuster of a release...a sexy tour de force...glorious odes to the solar system. It's an anthem of the sun that would bust out in blows against the empire if anyone had the energy to launch a wooden ship, much less a rocket.

--VILLAGE VOICE

Possibly the most progressive American rock record of the new century. It sets an artistic standard few bands will be able to match.

--THE STATE

Overflowing with musical and intellectual ideas...flat-out astonishing.

--WIRE U.K.

Pocket symphonies of silvery guitar and warm-water singing: Abbey Road wrapped in kudzu.
--ROLLING STONE

A lavish record that's as cryptic as R.E.M. and as expansive as The Flaming Lips...warm and humane rather than aridly cerebral...their time may have come. 4 STARS.
--Q MAGAZINE U.K.

A gorgeous disc from a unique band that has been out of action too long.
--WASHINGTON POST

GRADE: A: Repeat listenings of Reality yield countless new pleasures.
--ATLANTA JOURNAL

A sprawling 70-minute voyage into deep space.
--CREATIVE LOAFING

The striking scale and superb craft of this album are impressive by any standard.

--ALL MUSIC GUIDE

This is one terrific album...a spectacular sound, one that overflows with sheer exuberance and invention...a strikingly original piece of work, and proof positive that in the grand tradition of Sgt. Pepper and Dark Side of the Moon, imagination and ambition are still vital ingredients when it comes to making music that really matters.
--SOUTH FLORIDA'S ENTERTAINMENT

NEWS & VIEWS

A rock and roll Gravity's Rainbow.
--AMPLIFIER

Exquisitely crafted songs [that] burst on the ear with the sudden force and electric sizzle of an August thunderstorm. Others open like furled flower buds, petal by petal, with imagery that's both winsome and passionate.
--TALLAHASSEE DEMOCRAT

Administration

Jeff Calder's 50th Birthday Memoirs > Carey Blanton (1) > Prom Polk Theatre

I was not present for this little trick that Calder pulled, however the man that first showed up at Southwest Jr. High with madras pants and boy scout shoes taught me a little something about how to be cunning and sly!

This was around the 11th grade in high school I guess. It was normal for several groups of friends to go to the Polk Theater to see a movie. If memory serves me correctly, it was a horror movie! Jeff had a plan. Part of the plan was in his pants, and the other was the popcorn box he had strategically place in his lap.

The movie was building up to a critical fright scene, and the audience was at the edge of their seats. Becky was on one side and "a friend....a close female friend!" was in the other seat next to Calder.

Calder had been sharing his popcorn all the while, but now the time was ripe for the "Popcorn Box Trick". Calder slowly unzipped his pants and slipped his "member" into the slightly opened bottom of the popcorn box. Calder leaned the box over to his left towards this movie mate, and she reached in for another hand full of popcorn. There was popcorn allright, but MY GOD THERE WAS SOMETHING ELSE! With popcorn flying about, the screams could be heard in the lobby, as Jeff pulled off his now infamous "Popcorn Box Trick".

When I tried it years later the timing wasn't so good and the salt burned like hell.

--Carey Blanton